oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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