is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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