You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
