forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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