my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
