He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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