Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How does it feel to date your dad?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
