If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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