I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Everyone says I win the strip club
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
