last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
