I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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