i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
