Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
