well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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