you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
