Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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