i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
pray to the hookup gods
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
