I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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