Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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