Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
