we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
