so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
