I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
