sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
