**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
