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The maid of honor just puked.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
