i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
