I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think people are normalizing furries
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
