i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
