i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
