I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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