Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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