just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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