So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
