No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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