I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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