Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
