Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
