dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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