it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
