Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
