goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
