Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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