You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
