so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
