Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
