I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
