Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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