this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
