Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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