I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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