Umm I'm too high to move.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
