I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
