Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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