moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
