O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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