Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
