I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
