She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
