nut hugger
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
