yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
