I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
