i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
