Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
