I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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