I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
